Onedayiwillbedead

Livims Radio is 10!

2007-06-28T18:55:00.000Z

Well, the radio show is anyhow. The latest one is up and ready for your perusal, featuring all manner of bleeps, bloops, chuggahs, YEOWS!, nings, weeE's and other such noises arranged in such a fashion as to be pleasing to the ear.

Click on over to the livims home page (its in the links), and hit the bit near the top of the screen wot says 'Radio'. Simple, eh?

Happy hunger...

2007-06-19T14:39:00.000Z

Fasting for spiritual reasons seems to be almost a taboo subject in Scotland and this vexes me. Im sure that there are a few folk who are up to it, hidden away in secret nooks and paranoid crannies. But why are we so scared of talking about giving up food or some creature comfort for short periods of time? Is it some thing to do with an inherent fear of boasting? Perhaps we're worried about inadvertently encouraging eating disorders. Perhaps we're just worried people will see us as freaks.

In this spirit I would like to officially out myself right here and now: I was fortunate to have been introduced to fasting very early in my Christian life and have found it to be of unfathomable usefulness. I recommend it to anyone who is healthy and wants to know God better.

I quite agree that there are aspects of fasting that are inherently private but Im not advocating that we just go about spilling our guts about everything to any punter that happens to be passing. And obviously we have to be careful about the possible dangers and put a bit of thought into it, but thats no reason to write it off completely.

If you do have a go Id recommend taking medical advice , avoiding hard physical labour while your actually at it and making sure you drink plenty of water. And much like tripping on LSD, I find it helpful to tell one person what you're doing just in case.

Praying every time you would usually be eating is not only amazing for yer relationship with God, but it makes us realise just how much unnecessary crap we really can cram down our throats in a day. Fasting also forces you to slow down. It forces us to think things out and gives us time for new perspectives.

Self discipline, dignity, compassion. Fasting offers a window on all these and more. And lets not forget the mysterious way it seems to convert our prayer into heavenly, incorporeal molotov-cocktails.

I reckon theres allot at stake, and we, in our polite silence, are missing out. So lets not make a big deal of it, but lets at least be ok with talking about it.

Thus Spake Mandy...

2007-05-22T16:05:00.000Z

"Id rather be a bollock in a community of other bollocks rather than a lone bollock just wandering about by itself".

Dear Rab...

2007-04-29T14:28:00.000Z

Hi man - it was cool to see you and get a chance to natter at the 3 Steps Back show in Craigsfarm the other day. Its good to get perspective from people who've been about and know the score.

However, I think I owe you an apology. In fact, I think I owe all of Livi an apology. The night wasnt as well attended as Id hoped and I was tired and all that kind of stuff, so in a hissy fit I accussed Livi of having no soul.

Basically, I want to publicly take that back. Livi so does have a soul! Its wee and fragile and tempramental, but it is there. There is so little of any artistic expression in Livi and its spread so thinly between the faceless rows of dormatory 'first time buyer' housing and ignored green space that it can be really easy to miss, but it is there and we - me and you - are part of it.

Every time we're involved with a show, either going, playing or putting it on we help it grow a wee bit. Every time we keep positive it takes more solid form. I was so wrong to write it off, because by writing it off, I was effectively writing the people off and that was well out of order.

What Livi has now is lightyears further on from what we had back in the day and so much more than I ever expected in such a cultural dust bowl. We have a community (yes its cliqish but thats human beings for you, eh? We're old enough to see through that crap anyhow). We have some small busineses like Live Rehearsal that are run as a genuine service. There are people with real tallent in amongst it all - like Martin Wow! the artist and Brucey Stepda. The skatepark is still an Oasis of alternative sometimes, despite being the Mos Eisley of West Lothian at others. And we still have some pretty chuffing good music. In short: theres some real life expressing itself roond here. How much more might appear as the barrat homes continue to sprawl?

Im convinced that Livis alternative underbelly can and will survive despite looking sickly when compared to cities. Its existence is an ongoing protest against the battery life that people choose by moving here and Im convinced that for their kids, its an essential avenue of escape from it.

And when we're not part of it any more - it'll still be there. I havent meant it to be all preachy and in truth its really aimed at me more than anything else anyway. Im just trying to say that Im sorry for being so cynical the other night. I didnt want to drag anybody down so I thought Id explain why I now think I was wrong. Please - next time you see me talking like that, remind me of this stuff that Im on about here.

Respect & shalom as ever - Doogs

Dancing Skeletons...

2007-04-11T19:33:00.000Z

All you skeletons,
rise up! Dance now!
Fleshless framework,
shake your thing now!
Rattle rhythm, bone drum,
stomp feet! clack hands!
Corpus animated,
curse sleep! Stand!

Bone point pirouette,
sun bleached skulls grin!
Celebrate the coming of the
un-rot (new skin!)
Throbbing through dead meat,
fearful life creeps!
Blood pulse rhythm of the
new found beat!

For those of you wondering what Im on about, this wee poem thingy (its meant to be part story, part exhortation, part hope and part accusation - probably part other things as well), is based on the experience of athis gadge called Ezekiel. You can read about it here.

New Radiophonic Frontiers...

2007-04-11T19:30:00.000Z

Finally got round to recording another Livims radioshow. As ever, it awaits your perusal at livims - just click the wee button that says 'radio' and yer away.

Easter...

2007-04-08T01:49:00.000Z

An old saying: The King is dead... Long live the King!

Alive again...

2007-04-04T19:56:00.000Z

I missed the last bus home from work this evening - what a gift. I walked for an hour along back roads, past fields ready for new seed. Underneath the ugly motorway and deeper into the woods. Birds sang, the earth smelled good and the sky blazed apocalypse red as the sun went down. Everything is good this evening... it feels like ever the stones are crying out praise. I'm remembering, along with the rest of creation, that I'm alive

Life Without Cars...

2007-04-02T21:53:00.000Z

The main road between East and Mid Calder - a busy link from Livingston to Edinburgh - has been closed. Life without cars is quiet. Tranquil. Its so peacfull without them. Every now and then wee gifts like this just kind of pop up. Im thankfull.

30...

2007-02-21T23:21:00.000Z

3 decades on... Am I the only one who feels that I haven used the time well?

Regarding Chisels And Mallets...

2007-01-24T20:47:00.000Z

More and more I'm thinking the secret is to let life chip the edges off you, without letting it knock lumps out.

Week of the year, already...

2007-01-22T19:29:00.000Z

I scored a new guitar this week and its a total peach. It looks horrible, sounds horrible and has a horribly gaudy green light on it - perfect really. A steal for twenty quid, I have dubbed her 'Thunderbird 1'.

Then I saw Norma Jean in the 'Weeg. My first big hXc gig no less! It was so much fun to see large scale jagging going on in such close proximity. Jagging is a bit like Capoeira sped up to rediculous velocities and set into spinning motion (sometimes even perpetrated by reeling drunks). This all conspires to make for fantastic entertainment when witnessed up close. I realised I was really having fun when - from behind - a body sailed over my head and belly flopped into the action right in front of me. Amazing.

And finally, If I may be allowed to boast a little, I got perfect marks on the New Testament module of my course. I'm officially chuffed to smithereens.

More music?

2007-01-22T19:23:00.000Z

There is so much amazing music in the world I find it hard to take in its grand canyon-esque breadth and splendor. Even in my parochial wee locality its amazing what grandiose sound can loom into being. I take pride in taking time to listen. I often wonder why more people dont.

Would a band of the month entry be helpful for all you post modernist bewild-o-nauts floating through the ether of choice?

Blobs...

2007-01-22T19:20:00.000Z

Douglas Entrepreneur now has a blog. He's got opinions aplenty and thinks hard about stuff. Pay him a visit or forever fail to achieve your life's full potential...

On Substance...

2007-01-16T00:57:00.000Z

If Im being honest, I have to say that I'm not impressed with myself: a thin man with very little depth. I struggle to maintain even basic relationship for the fear that the veneer may be sussed and I get 'found out' (I confess Im hoping this will be a 'me too' moment from you readers - dont let me down folks). Like many of my contemporaries, I hide behind an assumed identity. Mine happens to take a form slightly to the left, rather than assuming that anonymous facade the rest of our society comforts itself with. It would appear that theres safety in numbers.

I grew up aware the lack of substance inherent in our lives. We seem to live a semi-skimmed existence (thanx Douglas ;) ), fundamentally weak and unsatisfying. After looking for something with real depths, and through various adventures, I found something in Jesus. Resonant, pithy, satisfying, He teaches me wholeness...

I'm not wanting to preach though. I'm just trying to get over the fact that this uncommon, precious idea of matter really seems to matter lots. Its rare stuff.

A great victim/perpetrator is music: so much is tripe (both the secular and sacred! Im bored of the 'Christian music = crap' position though). But gems are like peanuts if you ask me - plentiful if your willing to sift through the poo. Heres a belated Christmas present of something with real integrity - Wovenhand. Meaty stuff (suitable for veggies like me), thats innovative rather than generic and honestly expressive instead of cowardly preaching. Something with a bit or real about it.

What say ye?

Iron Maiden...

2006-12-24T05:22:00.000Z

Yas! Keith from YakNak gave me a ticket to see Iron Maiden at the SECC last week and it was AMAAAAZING! I completely regressed to a 14 tear old, giggling when they brought Steve Harris' bass oot tae sound check.

Was I stuck in the seating area? Yes. Where they old men? Yes. Did I not recognise most of the songs? Yes. Was it a contender for gig of the year anyway? Too chuffing right!

Id vowed never to return to the SECC after a particularly ropey Smashing Pumpkins show 10 years ago, but was really chuffe dto see the place has really got its chops together. It actually sounded half decent in there fer a change. But most impressive was to see that the Irons where still still kicking large amounts of prime rump steak.

Maiden where getting a bit long in the tooth when I was a young man (about the '7th Son' era), but never deviated from what they loved. I left them to explore other avenues for a while - Im so very glad that they did'nt follow my lead. Viva their integrity! I could easily paraphrase Jesus' story of the prodigal son here, but you get the picture !m sure.

Its comforting to know that there are constants in the universe other than comets and maths.

Tagged...

2006-12-24T05:06:00.000Z

Lurch has tagged me in some bizzare internet game of tig, and the code of the playground demands that I pass on the mantle. The challenge is to share 5 things that most people wont know about me... this is hard.

The first is that I have just cut my mohichan off, leaving naught but a 14" long tin tin quiff, comminly reffered to as a 'Devil Lock'. Most people wont know this because I only did it 12 hours ago.

Next is that Im not a big fan of the last song on the VOTM album. We started with an amazing drumbeat that sounded like nothign else, added wonky guitars that where Beefheart oot their nut, layered some amazing fretless exotic bass and topped it off with crazed chanted Clutch style vocals. Unfortunately, this cosmopolitan blend of influences has ended up soundign surprisingly close to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers *shiver*.

Third is that I have never read all the Lord Of The Rongs books, having watched the original animated film and pucked up the literature from there.

Fourth is that I had a dream that I think was from God. It was all about Livingston, seeds and harvests. Its been about 7 years since I had it and no one has ever been able to tell me what it means, but Im sure that someone will one day.

Lastly is that I have loads of regrets about squandering my youth and generally not getting it.

That was easire than I thought actaully. What a narcicist, eh? Right - someone elses turn.

The West Lothian & District Jesus Christ Wonderfuzz Orchestra presents...

2006-12-12T04:11:00.000Z

A Very Progressive Christmas!
(an alternative celebration - waifs and strays welcome)

A non traditional carol service led by members of
Indafusion
Massacre On The Fjords
Jackie Treehorn
Sweet Chin Music
Voice Of The Mysterons
manfully acompanied by
The Impromptu Kazoo Ensemble (who will it be? Who can tell?)
and also featuring
Davey Dobson
Logie

Together they shall present an all time hit parade of Christmas Carol based madness, followed by the mighty SPACIAL ENTREPRENEURS

Monday, December 18th 2006 AD - Deer Park Golf & Country club (Livi) - 7.30 pm as anything

£FREE!

The punx went in 2x2...

2006-12-12T03:53:00.000Z

Had a lovely couple of nights down in Ayr over the last couple of weeks. Turn out that there is a new venue down there called The Ark thats run as an alcohol free youth centre. No unilateral actions here - its only run by a coalition force of no less than 11 different churches! The Brethren have even assented to working with Catholics! Baptists and Presbyters shoulder to shoulder! Just how it should always be... They even make amazing coffee!

Be friendly - visit www.myspace.com/ayrark and say hello to James and the mob doon thar.

Beaten Up By A Girl!

2006-12-12T03:44:00.000Z

It was my own fault really...

I was trying to leave work.
After she punched me in the head twice, I raised myself up and spoke to the bealing drunk:
"Gonae leave it out?"
Then took my eyes off her and returned to fiddling with the keys, crouching...
Blat!
she kicked me in the face.

The only deep damage is to my pride.

Doogs On Tour...

2006-12-12T03:14:00.000Z

England is a nice place - Im beginning to see what theyre on about.

Thursday saw me heading south to my paternal home of Sheffield for the first time in 8 years. Last time I was there it was to bury my amazing Auntie Blanche who lived her whole life in one house (right next door to the hoose ma da was born in). The train passed amazing grand churches which speckled the eerily flat landscape. It was nice to find life awaiting me in this visit as the blue haired medical student Chris played his very first gig with his new band Free For All. Kind of Snuff meets Billy Brag and, a few wee timing foibles aside, not too shabby at all.

Friday led me back to Livi for an astounding show of streingth from Tabasco Fiasco (www.myspace.com/tabfiasco), the astounding Secta Rouge (www.myspace.com/sectarouge) and promising livi young team A Torn Mind (www.myspace.com/atornmindband). Sadly, these myspace accounts largely dont represent the incredible live abilities.

Saturday took me down to Bradford for punk worship (www.punkworship.co.uk), perpitrated by a certain blog fellow of mine, MaFt. I met and was really encouraged by Stevo, who's really involved in the Manchester Hardcore/sXe scene. It was also nice to get a chance to wallow in God for a few hours. Ideal.

Sunday returned me to Livi and straight into compereing at the Nitespot in a battle of the bands type affair. Things got rowdy (I keep promising myself to stop crowd surfing, I really do). 3 Steps Back done Livi's punk heritage proud and wen through to the semi's. A Shite State Of Affairs reformed and played a fantastic acoustic set. Deadstuartwakes new band Rodent Emporium opened and where sounding gid - and mair gid with every passing show (www.myspace.com/rodentemporium).

4 days of trains, gigs and chips have wearied my body but poured a bucket of freezing water over my bed ridden spirit. Yas.

...

2006-12-12T03:04:00.000Z

"And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive" - Ecclesisates 4:2

For the 2 people Im not allowed to name and Rab (who wasnt daft). Godspeed you all - you are missed.

For my Gran...

2006-11-07T13:39:00.000Z

At 5 o clock this morning
in a wee warm hospital room
my mum said to her mum
"love you...
I want to thank you for being my mum".
We held grans hand and prayed as she slipped away.

Updates!

2006-10-25T14:57:00.000Z

Aye - marking a year of blogging here with a couple of long overdue updates. Wire in at your earliest convenience...

The Boxologist writes deep and interesting stuff, with a particular eye for middle easter politics. Incidentally, Im reading a book just now called 'A Politically Incorrect guide to Islam and the Crusades' its very well researched but pretty full on.

Hef is the spider fingered geetarist of fantastic livi prog-metalists Massacre On The Fjords. He pops in now and then so pay his myspace a visit.

Rock N Roll Zombies is a wee promotions collective thats come out of Wakenthedead. We're doing gigs in Livi, Stirling, a few in Embra and hopefully soon in Falkirk and Glasgow. Props out to all the chaps :)

YakNak is a Livi based charity for Nepalese street kids who's story is pretty cool. Basically 2 livi twenty-somethings went on their hols in Nepal. They where shocked by the street kids and decided to start a house for them. All the bands helped raise money by putting on a ream of gigs and now the house is built and the first kids have started school. They're far from desperate but you should give them some money anyhow.

Theres also a new section that stictly for the lads...

Kill Your Television (and other stories)...

2006-10-25T14:35:00.000Z

About 2 weeks ago decided that it was time to get rid of the TV. The plan has been to spend less time mindlessly consuming and more time engaging with God. Its not really worked out so far, as Ive been spending every spare second on the ol' interweb so Im again reminded that walking with Christ is more about what you do, rather than dont do.

However, this could all turn out to be academic as I have to move across town this weekend. Of course, the new place has a telly. Kev (ma new hoosemate) isnae a huge fan of it (he favours a recording studio in place of a front room), so perhaps I'll be able to convince him to get rid of it. Komrade Waddelski has moved over to Boghall to a nice 2 bedroom skete-like flat. Deadstuartwakes will be moving into Glasgow to start doing Rock N Roll Zombie shows and perhaps even plant a church. I suppose that heralds the end of the prayer squat experiment in its current form.

As Kev's place is like, already his hime the move means I'll have to pass on a large proportion of material possesions, most of which was passed on to me. This feels like Im taking part in some kind of 'pass the parcel', which is defiantely as fun as it sounds. Its going to be weird moving into someones elses house from my own.

Aye - and apparently the lesley speaker in my old organ might be worth £600. Im stunned.

Rock N Roll Zombies...

2006-10-20T10:07:00.000Z

Aye - thats the name of the wee promotions collective we've put together. Putting gigs on in Livingstonia, Stirlingshire, Edinburger and (soon), Glasweegie. Muchos fun. Check us oot @ www.myspace.com/rocknrollzombies or even better get yer self over tae the Subway in Embra (the wan in the Cowgate) this coming Sunday, Oct 29th at 7pm for -

Solacy - Thoughtfull and melodic metal types from the capital.
Death & Desire - US based alt.metal with wee grunge overtones.
The Expendable Penguins Of War - Fun loving Livi stalwarts play progish metal.

And since its such a last minute dealio we've decided to make it only £3. Yes - we're that good to you. Sometimes I wonder if we'll make you lot go soft with all this pampering.

www.myspace.com/solacy
www.myspace.com/deathanddesire

This cold, dark land of the picts...

2006-10-15T02:09:00.000Z

I was watching Billy Connoly's world tour of Scotland tonight. In all honesty I find him at his funniest when he drops the act and acccepts that he's a bit of a pretentious weirdo like the rest of us. However, he does like Scotland - and liking Scotland is something I've stuggled with for a long time.

I dont know what made me not like it here. Perhaps it was only seeing a tacky facade. Perhaps it was growing up in a faceless new town. Maybe something as mysterious as the unshakeable feeling that really, Im only a tourist here. Mebs it was as mundane the distain most young folks hold for home. At least everyone else I knew seemed to thing the same.

I realise now that I was wrong. Theres something no too bad about this otherwise cold and dank land of the picts. It occasionaly sparkles underneath the self perpetuated tartan stereotypes. It sometimes seeps around the vain 'proud nation, hard as nails' crapaganda. It lies in the middle and we have to acknowledge it.

We just have to realise that we're ok. No better or worse than everyone else: we're OK. Have a look - can you see it? Good. Lets get on with the rest of our lives.

Starving Jesus...

2006-10-02T15:27:00.000Z

Hope, hope and more hope.

www.starvingjesus.com (I especially recomend the podcasts).

Look up!

2006-09-26T14:19:00.000Z

Im tired of spending all my life looking at my feet - all the good stuff is at eye level or higher. Nice things await us, just a little above our gaze. Realign your outlook and see for yourself.

Pavements are boring. LOOK UP AND SEE!

Ego as anything...

2006-09-18T10:57:00.000Z

Apparently Sigmund Freud stated that a religious experience was defined by our own ego meeting another much larger than itself.

Thats all for now, I just thought it was quite good.

Livi music takes a sair yin...

2006-09-13T14:33:00.000Z

Time to lament as Livi mourns the passing of no less than two of its mightiest bands in just one week. Seven days changes everything, two wee bands splitting up affects a whole community, seven people affect the mood of a couple hundred.

Incidentally, Im pretty sure that 7 is the biblical number for completion.

Be sure to get over to their myspace while theres still some music about and marvel at the wonder which once was the splendiferous Stepdads, who rallied all the wee cliques into one big community as they bludgeoned their way through Emergenza 2005 and the fantastico Bo Deadly who churned out calcium and vitamin style spikey-pop and butter-smooth-banter with the kind of effortless ease that cows make milk and jobbies with.

www.myspace.com/stepdads
www.myspace.com/bodeadly

Anyone for Sodomy?

2006-09-05T12:32:00.000Z

Been in the desert for the last wee while, thinking about Sodom.

Sodom was a town in old school Israel - before Israel was israel in fact. God chucked brimstone down on it to clear it oot aff the earth because it had become like a weeping scab. Many people told me that it was all about the sodomy that was going on. Ive been thinkng that the problem was wider than that.

I dont want to get sidetracked into a masive debate about sexual morality here. Besides, Im more concerned that people understand that God loves them than His views on what bits should go where. Theres enough media sensationalism to cover that. What Im more concerned with is appetites.

I was talking to my mate Jed about 3 weeks ag. He's just stepped off the edge and become a professional musician. This, of course, means that he's now pretty skint. As we where talking about it he mentioned 'Aye, I just canny buy a chocolate bar whenever Im in the garage now'. It really struck me that for the last 5 years, thats exactly what Ive been doing.

Now dont get me wrong. Ive been skint to the point of malnutrition before, but that was a looooong time ago. Im surprised how little time it took me to forget how to say 'no' after that. I've become so acustomed to eating pretty much what I want when I want. Chippy? Aye - why no? Should I cook or get a pizza? Easy descision.

The trouble is, this is not the only appetite that wants fed. We live in such a 'want' driven culture its easy to guzzle pretty much anything. TV. Internet. Smoking. Playstation. Drugs. Porn. Music. Books. Art... etc. Many if these things on their own are moraly inert, of course. But as alcoholics annonymous say "alcohol aint the problem - I AM". And what are we afraid of anyway? If we loose our little bubbles of self indulgence will we actually have to deal with ourselves?

Self controll has become a rare commodity - almost redundant in this comparitive utopia. We've got so much we just dont need it. Still dont believe it? While South American street kids eat out of bins obesity is still endemic in the UK and US. While Indnian farmers have their wives sell a kidney to make ends meet, we live in a culture that now see's technological advances brought about through pleasure seking (as opposed to war or epidemic, for the first time in recorded history anywhere). And the real tradgedy is that our wee fancies have become so easy to fulfill we dont even realise how greedy we've become.

This isnt about consumerism - this is about us. Our personal conduct. Our apparent inabilaty to say 'No' to ourselves. Try it, it might be harder than you realise. And as always, the more we get the more we want.

In this sense, we are all Sodomites.

Mysteron Casualty Figures...

2006-08-18T14:45:00.000Z

Following 2 gigs with my Mysteron brothers this week, the casualty figures are in...

Bar Bloc - Tuesday Aug 15th:
1 mauled microphone (courtesy of our esteemed colleagues 'The Poisoning')
1 devastaded power supply
1 trashed light fixture
1 swolen toe
2 cut fingers
1 bruised singer
and the usual scrapes and bruises.

Nektar - Thursday August 17th:
1 Concussed singer
1 even more swolen toe (courtesy of singers head)
2 shamefully dented guitars
1 bulbous, discloloured knee joint
2 burned out speakers (helped allong by our able co-horts Fat Ben & The Looters)
1 PA stack (plus singer ascending) toppled into moshpit
1 headache (belonging to the Sound Engineer)
2 decimated mic stands
1 crumpled monitor
1 mis-shapen kickdrum, malformed by mounting
Several smeared footprints on ceiling (seriously!)
1 pinkie finger (property of mosher), laserated by bass guitar (property of Mysteron)
(minumum) 2 reported cases of tinitus
1 case of whiplash
and to cap off this general atmosphere of mayhem - 1 surprise case of salmonella (not acught on premises, I might add)

Welcome to the crazy world of rock and roll kids!

PS - check oot oor pals @
www.myspace.com/fatbenandthelooters
www.myspace.com/tabfiasco
www.myspace.com/poisoning

Shhh!!!

2006-08-14T12:10:00.000Z

Been a bit quiet lately. I suppose sometimes you have to just shut it and admit youve got nothing much worth saying.

Without Creativity...

2006-07-18T13:08:00.000Z

"Without creativity the body will die"

- James T Kirk

Voice Of The Mysterons vid...

2006-06-28T10:31:00.000Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzI1fbdgdUQ

Raven youth club, Bathgate. 24/06/06 (props tae Matty and Conrad fer the footage).

It was meant to be a fancy dress night, and yet I think my 'Iron Man' went over most peoples heads. The plan was to transmogrify during the course of the show into a new creature of flesh and blood. Best laid plans, eh?

We join proceedings at the 'tinfoil legwarmers' phase of my visual metaphor...

... and then the lorry hit us.

2006-06-28T10:26:00.000Z

2nd car accident of this blog! Nae injuries thankfully, but why read my account when Buckley puts it so well -

http://www.livims.co.uk/joomla/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=83&topic=2629.0

One thing is for sure: this scene will die...

2006-06-22T12:35:00.000Z

... and what is more, its death is necessary.

This, of course, adheres to one of the unwritten maxims of popular culture: In order for the following generation to have something which they own and belong to, their forerunners must be consigned to the ranks of the unhip and cast from grace. Once the new generation has established itself the exile of the old can end. Their repatriation 10 years or so later comes in the form of retro chic.

Im sure many would interpret this is a disrespectful attitude resulting from some kind of throwaway materialist worldview but more and more Im seeing a wisdom in it. After all - unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

This game of generational leap-frog (see fig.1), has led me to a conclusion. Basically I think we have to build into the fabric of all our endeavours a self destruct mechanism (*ahem* especially if that endeavour happens to take a material shape, such as a monestary - tonsure ed). The resulting rubble might not only afford the next gen the space to inhabit as they grow their own dreams and build their own stuff, but create the necessity (remember her? Inventions Auld Dear?), for them to do so.

Ouch - tough love all round! So how can we try to introduce a willfull euthenasia into all the stuff we attempt?

................

Fig.1
Apparently rich families have a 3 generation cycle which goes like this - Generation 1 makes the money and invests furiously in the children. Generation 2 has no concept of its real worth (blood, sweat and love). It is spoiled and frivolous. Generation 3 picks up the pieces gen2 leaves behind. So... just as some of us are in desperate need of weaning (nae mare milk from our predecessors - lets get the solids doon wur gub!), Im so sure its possible to sometimes over invest in those we hope to supersede us.

Well come on everybody, lets move-it-and-a-groove it...

2006-05-31T00:40:00.000Z

Im so unbeleivably chuffed - this weekend I managed to see four seperate gigs in three days, totalling something in the area of 22 bands. I am now officially guilty of music gluttony.

'They Stood Out' awards should be duly doled out to Bo Deadly, Jackie Treehorn, Massacre On The Fjords, Peepshow (minus the porn lyrics), Secta Rouge, Shitball and the Poisoning - all massive high points in ma weekend.

Oftentimes the best thing you can do at a gig is just hang back and watch the crowd (Oscar Wilde said something like - I hope you have enjoyed the show half as much as you have enjoyed each other). Heres a few phenomena you should watch for next time you're out at a show...

1 - The invariably steaming mate/family member loyaly going mental front and centre on their own as their mate/family members band goes through the motions on stage. Whereupon love has blinded the partaker as to whether the band is actually any good or not and (by means of loyal, determined and sustained example) they resolve to entice the crowd to rock out with maximum effect. The crowd invarialby regards said athletic individual with a mix of confusion and fear.
2 - The tactical mosh. Whereupon the next band due on go absolutely nuts and freak out like whirling dervishes during the last song of the band that immediately precede their own show. The aim is twofold... they hope, much like the poor individual in figure '1', that they may tempt the crowd to a frenzied state in time for their arrival on stage (never thinking that the 25 minutes they take to set up will afford ample opportunity for the crowd to dissapate - they where only there to see thir own mates band anyway). Also, they hope that the first band (and possibly all their mates), will reciprocate. This unspoken collusion, or 'pity mosh' as I have named the phenomena, is often seen at gigs where noone has brought any mates and the bands paly to each other.
3 - Partisan crowd tourism. Whereupon those attending the event watch only one band and spend the rest of the show shamlesly ligging or simply leave straight away. This shames the band they saw and is frankly stupid. Almost exclusively perpitrated by people who dont actually like music and only came out to silence the constant reminders that 'uv got tickets oan me if y' want wan the noo!'.
4 - The dummy fight (commonly referred to as the 'Livi swim-pit'). Where upon several audience members (for reasons a varied as boredom, an offensive band or just for a giggle), group together and madly wrestle like greased hillbilly's untill theres naught but a pile of bodies like the worst playground pile up you've ever seen or imagined.
5 - The vastly innapropriate mosher. Whereupon someone with very little clue wellies in and just starts hitting people. Much like figure '4' but with more nosebleeds and less fun. The partaker generally thinks he is 'puer mental, ken?', and spends all his time trying to maintain eye contact with the mates he's trying to impress. Often only one alcopop away from total colapse anyway, their exhuberent bluster usually blows itself out within half a song and they spent the rest of the night on the street looking for the oppertunity to hospitalise a random passer by having been dragged out by their mates.
6 - The punter spotter. Whereupon you spend as much time watching the punters as you do the band. Happy spotting :)

Cynborg...

2006-05-21T01:30:00.000Z

Spent a while caffin' and spraffing wi some fellow Jesus jabbers this week. Ma wee mind ends up blown by God - as usual.

I realise that more than ever I need to disconnect and depend less on human life-support mechanisms, those habits of old. Mechanisms like pride (only I can do it!), laziness (someone else do it!) and fear (I cant do it!). Mankind relied on these non-God sources of supplement back in Eden and ended up perverted. We God-grown organic creatures transformed into mechanistic sin-cyborgs, unthinking automatons set to self-destruct in the ritual pursuit of self-preservation.

The blood of Jesus has seeped into my workings... broken my coding... making me free to de-evolve (any geneticist will tell you most mutations prove fatal anyway), and become all human once more. But the things of God are hard - loving, becoming vulnerable and pursuing God is hard. The robotic urge to switch off and feel no more appeals to the idea of being strong and invulnerable (a true Scots trait?), but will leave us like rusting tin cans at the end of time.

Ma wee egocentric corner of creation needs to change... needs to be open to change. Wow – sustaining that kind of attitude seems to be an insurmountable task. I worry if future people writing about what God did in Edinburgh at the start of the century (what? Aaargh - more narcissism!), will lament it having become a monolithic android factory like so many other movements before it. But worry is part of the life support apparatus (back to here already?!).

Lord Jesus… its me again… I think I need more grace.

Lurch gets it right...

2006-05-18T16:28:00.000Z

"Meetings are a crime against the true meaning of the church" - On yersel big yin!

Check oot the whole beel at his blog - its listed under the 'blogarooney' section of ma links.

Vote: Massacre on the Fjords!

2006-05-18T13:04:00.000Z

Hey hey hey folks :)

Livi's resident progressive melodic death metal punters Massacre On The Fjords have entered a competition to get a show at the warm up for Ragnarock Metal Fetival up in Perth. Its a really big deal, so if you feel so inclined why not pop over to http://www.ragnarokfestival.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=217and vote for them. You need to register with the forum first, but dont let that put you off :) Look - I'll even put a link for that n as well :) http://www.ragnarokfestival.com/forum/profile.php?mode=register&sid=b3463cec7e0910aaf6a1c88582830016

If yer the fikey type and want to hear wot they sound like first you should go to www.myspace.com/massacreonthefjords After an early lead they're trailing behind by about 50 votes, so Godspeed your digital ballot through the binary ether...

MaFt - the Visible Man...

2006-05-11T01:21:00.000Z

Check it oot folks... MaFt has been getting weirdo JC lovers a higher profile down in Bradford, challenging stereotypes (the Manchester posse struggled loads with this), and generally getting out and about:

MaFt's (Almost) Daily Blog: Times Have Changed

He's also starting a punk worship night this Saturday which sounds like it could just be the best thing est sliced bread.

Yas! On yersel!

I like short songs...

2006-05-11T01:03:00.000Z

Today is the day that Boot To Head Records finally took delivery of the Voice Of The Mysterons album!

God willing, "They Heve Pulled Down Deep Heaven On Their Heads or Come Hell Or High Voltage; electromagnetic rapture-rock for Abbadons lost lads and lasses" will be mastered and ready for release this summer.

9 months in the making (so far). I canny believe it - what are we, Pink Floyd or something? Well not really when you consider 16 songs are puckered down intae 23 and a 1/2 minutes of frenzied punk rock experimentia, averaging at an easy going 83 seconds per song.

Ok... so I'll concede a little pride at this, but its nothing when you compare it to the first album by a great american punk band called Poison Idea. 14 songs on a 7 inch peice of vynl (played at the regular 45rpm if that means anything to you).

Livms radio (and then some)...

2006-05-05T06:11:00.000Z

The latest instalment of ma radio show is available over at www.livims.co.uk - just click the wee bit at the top left of the front page to get yer paws on it. Also available for streaming/download are most of the other ones we've done so far.

Its started a bit of a bit of a beel on the livims message board. Folk started wondering why local music wasnt on the local commercial radio station. Cynical me said it was a total no go area, but younk Trixter (the David-spirited guitarist fae Covert Camel), was having nane ae it and convinced a bunch of us tae brass it. A small deluge of emails tae yon station (the Goliath of this tale) asked "Haw! Whits the score?" The next thing we know is yon local DJ blokey popped up on the thread and bobs yer uncle - River FM invited livi bands tae get involved!

Ok, so they only want the most poppy bands and stuff and aye, it might well be nothing more than a PR excercise but for now a bunch of fretboard freaks, drumbums and the otherwise introverted feel like someone gives a crap. Thats got to be as good as any stane in the bonce.

Viva livi music!

Driving...

2006-05-05T04:03:00.000Z

I can now report that along with a billion other bloggers I have booked ma first driving lesson. You can now join with a billion respondees in fearing for the safety of others.

I now feel this is now somehow a proper blog, validated by the inclusion of such stangely average turning point in life. Its something that hundereds of others will also embark upon this week (I wonder if theyre all crapping it like Dougle?). In one way really average - in another a bit of a big deal (I equate driving with being a proper grown up so its a big deal to me at least).

Theres so many of these strangely shared corner points. We almost all have some of these experiences but participate in them seperately. Leaving school, marriage, starting new jobs - you know the deal. In one stroke they unite and simultaneously seperate us. On the face they've always seemed naught but vaguely confusing, distant social medium to me. But now Im actually partaking the whole deal starts becoming a bit more quirqsome... interesting... unique.

Scary biscuits - I think everyday life might not be as boring as I suspected after all.

*note to self* Even scarier biscuits - dinny get sucked in too far Doogs...

An alternative Edinburgh Festival?

2006-05-05T03:42:00.000Z

Well folks... Ive gone and fallen in with a shady crowd and no mistake! The plucky souls at Edinburghs rather fabby looking EdRush multi arts festival now count one D. McMysteron among their numbers! Punk rock is now officially highbrow!

The idea is to cram the Reekie with as much indigenous talent as possible for a week in late may. Great idea if you ask me! Check em out at

www.edrush.com

So now Im putting on a few (2) gigs for it, including the return to the stage of me own humble sci-punk buckaneers Voice Of The Mysterons after 10 (!?) months in the lab. As the sagely and erudite Barry Penguin doth exlaim: "GIT DOON THAR!". Heres the gos...

GODSPEED THE NEW PROG!
An evening of experi-mental musicality heralding the oncoming prog apocalypse
@ NEKTAR (Edinburgh) - Wednesday May 24th in the year of our Lord 2006 - 8pm - FREE!!!!

featuring

FROTHING MUCUS!
Genre hopping Mike Patton acolytes widdle like the Ozric Tentacles - all held together with hefty slabs of angular metalic riffage...
http://www.myspace.com/frothingmucus

THE SPACIAL ENTREPENEURS!
Two blokes with guitar and drums show the likes of the White Stripes up as the wanton redneck hillbillies they really are. More chops and changes than a south american goverment.
http://www.thespacials.com/

TERRA SURFA!
Edinburgh's own crazed 7 peice experimental surf all-stars. Likened to Dick Dale doing Disney with guns and psychotropics.

www.thecomediantattoo.com presents...
I WAS A TEENAGE B-MOVIE - a night of monstrosity and song
@ Cannonsgait Bar - Edinburgh - May 27th - 8pm - £4

with

The Poisoning (Formerly Die Kuntz)
Evil, putrifying Glasgow gore-punk - how much more black could they be? The answer is none. They could be none more black.
www.myspace.com/poisoning

Buzzbomb
Local legends now down to a 3 peice, fresh from playing Shotts prison and tighter than an inmates roll-up. Likened to Johny Cash on Crack.
www.buzzbomb.myby.co.uk

Z/28
Enduring broxburn hillbilly swing-o-matic punk-a-doodle-dandies get even rowdier for their imminent second album.

Voice Of The Mysterons
Pan-atlantic gopel fueled alt.punk experimentia from beyond the grave - back with fresh material!
www.purevolume.com/voiceofthemysterons

Wee Shan-dog is gone...

2006-04-28T04:46:00.000Z

Ma wee dog Shanan has died. The big C had claimed her wee bones and took her off to God.

I once read a story called 'If Jesus had a dog it would be a mongrel'. Well my wee mongrel was found on my doorstep 14 years hence, too wee to have been seperated from her ma and smaller than the cup of my hand. She remains the only Dog I know to have mastered backflip-ball-catching.

She was kind of a community dog during my first bit of homelessness, but settled back in with the family when I did. Laterly she was a trendy urbanite pup, living in the hip city centre Rose Street with my bro. Never the less, she remained to be ma dog.

Im happy that she had a good life.

I am a vain and stupid man...

2006-04-28T04:38:00.000Z

Yup - the truth must be known.

Now to get on with life.

The swindle is ON!

2006-04-11T21:00:00.000Z

Yas! Emo Zero Air Play promos was contacted by the BBC a few days ago. They're looking for Christian punx (and other such strangeties) to be on the telly as part of their Good Friday broadcast 'A Manchester Paaion'.

As it happens, it actually looks really great! They're putting the whole easter story to music, so Jesus will be singing 'I am the ressurection' by the Stone Roses, and Judas will be singing 'Heaven knows Im miserable now', by The Smiths. REALLY!

The great Songs Of Praise swindle is on! Jesus loving freaks on primetime!

And to top it all, Im apparently getting interviwed. Brown pant time, likes.

Good Friday @ 9pm - BBC 3

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/features/manchester_passion/

Regarding 'stuff'...

2006-04-05T05:43:00.000Z

So the prayer squat experiment has provied a complex and colourful get together. It all barely fits in my leaky head, let alone in paragraphs and grammar...

Spent the weekend thinking about economy manifesting in many forms... eventually visited the local recycling centre and found it was really busy. Yas! Im sure God is pleased with this. I didnt realise how messy my house was untill we turfed 9 or 10 black bags full of crap out (thankyou Sam and Han!). Houses fill up with stuff, and Im reminded how useless 90% of what we own is.

Words sometimes became awkward as I began to learn how to sit with God in peace. Quiet became a celebration. Stillness was like jelly and cake. People relaxed, let the stuff cluttering their bonce get swept and then let their inside self out to play. Patience became important as I realised its no easy being with the likes of me.

I think God can do more with empty things than with things full of stuff. Among other things, these 48 hours has made me realise this is not a truism. It just true.

You should come to this...

2006-03-24T14:11:00.000Z

I got this from my man, Martin T. Martian. He sings in Scotlands brightest indie hopes INDAFUSION...

"We will be launching the E.P. with a gig at the Bongo Club in Edinburgh, on April the 17th, so please put a note in your diary, tie a bit of string around yr finger, or write it on the back of your hand and don't wash it for a month!

The EP features the following tracks:
1. David & The Great Fog
2. Elephant: Emperor of the Animals
3. I Psychedelicised the Children
4. Come Home Katy 5

It features the Electro Harmonix *Big Muff* pedal; a string quartet lovingly arranged by Pete; and a fabby cover painted by Martin's wife Hannah.

You can listen to Come Home Katy 5 on our Myspace page - www.myspace.com/indafusion"

Support comes from Livi noise-nicks the Spacial Entrepeneurs - www.thespacials.com ... and if thats not enough for yer, I'll be mouthing off inbetween bands as the evenings official compere. Should be a cracker folks, so come and have a schmooze with all the press types and F list celebrities.

I'll see you doon the front!

...and this...

2006-03-24T14:02:00.000Z

The noble Komrade Waddellski and I thought it was about time for some proper prayer type action in the L-Y-C. So 4pm on Friday March 31st sees our wee house turn into a prayer-squat for 48 straight hours of non stop God bothering.

Music shall be made, supplications shall be uttered, rivers of tea shall flow.

Should be a giggle so its all welcome (+bring yer friends).

A Rumour...

2006-03-14T15:54:00.000Z

"They say Aslan is on the move - perhaps already landed"...

Frankenstein’s Monster IS the Bride!

2006-03-10T20:52:00.000Z

Lopsided and awkward she is…an addled medley of non-conformed miscellany, lurching through the ages.

What harmony of horrors comprise her carcass?
The dead made alive.
What fearful force animates her awkward flesh?
The Father (sometimes estranged).
What purpose does she serve?
She sifts through mystery, seeking after Truth.

And now she is restless,
sensing her approaching Groom.

Silent huffs hiss through her teeth in hoarse vexation… she is lonely… longing for the consummation… wailing deep-souled-song as she awaits redemption… beautification…

to be a monster no more.

Dreaming Other Peoples Dreams...

2006-03-06T18:49:00.000Z

Spent a large slab of the weekend chilling out in Embra dreaming other peoples dreams. Privileged as anything.

Met up in a place called 'The Lot' in the Grassmarket - loving it - a chilled out venue that does well tasty grub. Mayhaps a tad too fragile to one day withstand legions of demented mosh-pitters rutting within its dainty bowels, but none the less an ideal setting to hear about what’s going down inside the heads and hearts of other urban pilgrims.

It was refreshing to remember that it’s a big old world out there. New places and people outside of this weird-assed self contained community (Livi, bands, alterna-punters - that whole thing) are good. Homosapiens spend so much time creating ghettos for ourselves, introspectively defining who we are and who we aren’t. People outside of our little box help us avoid becoming a community of pretentious inbred hillbillies.

That evening I headed on up to Henrys Cellar for familiar faces in a new configuration, a ten-legged behemoth jamming under the collective moniker of ‘Jackie Treehorn’. New dreams again presented themselves, this time in the shape of a first gig. A veritable scorcher.

Both appertainings ensured that ma rock bladder – once swollen and bulbous – was thoroughly expunged. Yas.

DJ Doogs on tha wheels of steel...

2006-02-27T23:35:00.000Z

Yas! Finally got ma radio show up and running again! Get yer ears roond this:

http://www.livims.co.uk

Click the bit in the top left that says 'LiviMS radio player' and get an earfull of the best underground choons in sweet Livingstonia the noo.

Swiftly now my little ones - the next one will be up in a jiffy...

Dogs, big and wee...

2006-02-22T19:40:00.000Z

Mone the Dogs! They're noble wee beasties with dignity and heaps of personality. I'm costantly impressed with these hairy wee characters and think that we can learn allot from them about a bunch of stuff like unconditional love. They can be scunners as well likes, but generally I think they rock.

One of my favourate stories is about an Embra squatter called Allan Shopping-Trolley and his qudrapedal companion, 'Chaos'. Imagine our dreadlocked protagonist sauntering down Princess Street yelling "Chaos! Chaaa-oooooss! Come by lad" like a sheep trials entrant.

However, I dont really understand this strange belief that big dugs are in some way 'hard'. A meaty beast on the end of a leash is seen in some circles as a statement of manlyness for some reason. But for my part, I favour the wee yappy yins. Chihuahuas (sp?) the most. Why? Nobody suspects the pansy dogs!

Allow me to explain: if you see two Rotty's or Alsatians bounding down the street you'r like, "uh-oh... better keep ma witts about me here". No one fears a hound nicely sized for treading on. Wee ankle bothering dafties hold no terror for mortal man. At least not on their own.

But I recon that weight for weigh you could get you could get 40 or 50 wee dugs fer two healthy big wans. Imagine that! A veritable sea of nippy wee furballs! Like urban pirhanas, stripping an adult human to the bone in 20 seconds or less! An army of pedigree chum chomping locusts turning urban landscapes to deserts. Civilisation overwhelmed by feline freaking flash floods.

Hang on a mo - perhaps Paris Hilton isny as daft as she looks...

Big Noise and the Jubilee...

2006-02-19T14:38:00.000Z

Ive been farting about on ebay for a few days trying to buy an amp. Finally got ma hands on 150 boxed watts of sonic-terror-ray slinging equipment this morning.

Um gonnae git ma noisy freek on!

Been on ebay too long though... feels a grand bazaar of old... the meeting of the trading routes... a place to get anything in the world... a place to indulge every whim.

Seems in every empire through the ages we have equated sophistication of commerce with 'civilisation'. Just as morning napalm smells like (bidding) victory, so this reeks of Babylon.

However, I became chuffed when I read this thing about a nu-monk who was awarded $10,000 by the courts. Enjoy :)

After months of laughter and dreaming it really happened. About 40 people had all the change they could carry - over 30,000 coins in bags, coffee mugs, briefcases, backbacks. Another 50 people would be meeting us on Wall St. At 8:15 we started trickling into the public square in front of... the New York Stock Exchange. News of the redistrobution had spread, and nearly 100 folks from the alleys and projects where gathered... At 8:20 Sister Margaret and I stepped foward to proclaim the Jubilee;

"Some of us have worked on Wall Street and some of us have Slept on Wall Street... Some of us are rich people trying to escape our loneliness. Some of us are poor folk trying to escape the cold... We are broken people who need each other and God...
...Another world is possible. Another world is necessary. Another world is already here... This money belongs to... all those who have suffered most from the wreckage of the current system. May we return it with Joy, with our heads bowed in repentance, and with our hearts lifted in Jubilee."

...Ten people on balconies above the crowd threw hundred of dollars in paper money, covering the sky... The streets turned silver as [we] began pouring out their change. We decorated the place with sidewalk chalk and filled the air with bubbles. Joy was contagious. Someone bought bagels and started giving them out. People started sharing their winter clothes...

It worked... We knew it was dangerous, intentionally bringing God and Mammon face to face... and yet we are people of faith, believing that giving is more contagious than hoarding, that love can convert hatered, light can overcome darkness, and grass can pierce concrete - even on Wall St.

Lets all go to the show...

2006-02-14T08:53:00.000Z

Friday nicht in Livi and Im compereing a gig.

Look like an unusual show:
Its big fer Livi - about 300 punters.
I aint seen most of the bands.
Naebody's allowed tae jump aboot (travesty!).
Its being filmed.

Then I bump intae some frinds that I aint seen fer like, two years. Yas! This is what its all about! Turns oot they're headlining (There known as DANIKA STAR. And lo... they go off like firecrackers), and where the folk responsable for me being offered this gig. We catch up, talk about their last band (Embra nu-metalers 'Shindig' - fantastic!). We faert around on camera and make some new frinds.

Singer, John pops over wi a CD the next day. Its gid. We talk about tours, rehearsals, the 'Christian' scene and sXe before he shoots off. The best bit is I know I'll catch them at a gig again, even if it takes another two years, and we'll huv mair of the same.

I love this. I love these guys. This is 'scene' at its very best.

Saint Cash vs the world...

2006-02-07T20:07:00.000Z

Johnny Cash might seem an unlikely punk rock icon, but a punk rock icon he certainly is.

I watched a great documentary about him the other night on the telly (not the film - canny wait tae see it though). I've seen it before, the night before the Mysterons recorded for the first time, but it really was worth a second coming. It had his kids talking about their paw, home video footage and even included the super intense video for his NIN cover Hurt. But I think Johnny’s appeal to us Gen X-ers is deeper than his music.

We've grown up into a culture of shallow entertainment. We have seen talent being undermined by self abasement. Cynical advertising necessitates that we filter information through a mental gauntlet of questions like what do you want from me? what’s the catch? We are surrounded by such a glut of choice that we have decided to only trust feelings and maths. We have been demoted from human beings to mere consumers. In this superficial environment its natural to look for something more substantial. More satisfying. More dignified. Something that’s stood the test of time. Something with a bit of integrity. A challenge even.

Cue Mr Cash.

He wuz/is one of the greats - and I reckon all the greats are equal parts prophet and pariah. He always said exactly what he thought. Then his deadpan-baritone-delivery-system (voice), got it straight into your head. His early days made the likes of GG Allen look like columnists for amateur nihilist weekly. Then he found Jesus in a cave whilst set to self destruct on speed. He retained his dignity when he publicly fell off the holy rolercoaster. Like king David of Israel (aye - the wan wi' Goliath), he admitted he was wrong and changed his ways. And from the Mississippi past through into the age of the samplers and drum machines he remained just a bloke with a guitar - authentic. Even his dress sense seemed honest (goths aint the first punters to favour black).

Johnny Cash makes sense to allot of people who cant make sense of much else. I think he embodies the antithesis of all that is wrong with our world. This is his rebellion. This is what attracts us... and Johnny Cash was attracted by Jesus.

So I reckon Johnny is indeed an icon. But I like to think he's more like the icons of the orthodox church than the fleeting dandies in Kerrrang and the NME. A heavenly figure. A brooding angel.

A crazy ass punk rawk preacher.

Eh? What? Oh...

2006-02-03T10:30:00.000Z

Hmmm.... was assessing the whole monk thing on the train to work this morning. Not to sure Im happy at the moment, likes. Broke down the whole thing as I thrapped allong the track*:

Contemplation (stopping and thinking 'actually, what am I doing?') - Im going good here... and even better since begining to write mair.

Economy of life (less is more type living) - Doing pretty well... giving up chippy's (perhaps I'll make it a lent thing) and trying to be more responsable with my stuff.

Purity (thinking right, living right) - Aye, could do better but generaly on the up. Slowly, oh so slowly, but surely, oh so surely.

Spending time with God (talking to him and reading his book) - Proper falling on my face and knackering it.

Im happy about the first three, but am again realising they're just mumbo jumbo witch doctor stuff if im not living the last one. *sigh* Looks like I've gone all Pharisee again. Time to make some changes - feel free to hassle me about how Im getting on.

* any one know any good additions to this list?

Updates!

2006-01-24T12:36:00.000Z

Y' huv tae navigate all the way down the page tae look but its worth the travel - theres some beautys!

Monky Punks and Punky Monks,
Scenes and Zines,
Hefty Books fer the hardcore,
The insides of other peoples brains.
(And still a few more to add...)

Props tae Lurch fer the html haunners - proper gent as anything ;)

A Swindlers Primer...

2006-01-23T18:25:00.000Z

Everything you need to know to get suck in and about it -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/programmes/songsofpraise/faq/

On yersel folks! Mone the lunatic fringe!

The Great Songs of Praise Swindle!!!!

2006-01-20T17:47:00.000Z

Songs of Praise. I hated that programme! When I was younger, so much younger that before, it was about the best that Sunday afternoon telly had to offer - total anathema. It had more pearl rinses than Saga holidays and brass band music farted out of the speakers with bowel swilling gusto. And believe me, there was nothing else filling the void between Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade and bed time. It was the Sunday afternoon coma.

A few years on and the old hormones flushed me into the teenage years. Jane's Addiction and Nirvana where all I needed so the class of ’92 (allong with me humble self), surfed on the dreadlocked smellfest that was Grunge. However, Songs of Praise still stalked Sunday afternoons like some kind basilisk of boredom, threatening to petrify all who met it's gaze. Who where these people on the screen? Had they no contact with reality?

With annoying regularity these catatonic masses would serve up their visual lesson in banality. Aye, there where token young folk but they looked like ketamine abusers. “The poor swine! It must be in the only place they don't receive non-stop beatings” thought I, with genuine pity. There may have been the occasional geetar wielding hipster, but no, the damage was done. I obviously shared no common ground with this lot.

Onward and into the now. In my late twenties Songs Of Praise still trundles on and remains as the Blue Peter of 'spiritual' programming. I catch it every now and then when I'm not in church of a Sunday evening (I went and became a Christian anyway, its a whole other story…). So do I still wonder whether the bloke down the front is a conductor or a taxidermist? Well yes. Sometimes I do.

Aye, its not so bad as it was back then. They’re still making an effort but I still find myself asking "who are these people?". And Just now, while writing this sentence, the answer has hit me; They are not me. They are not you.

The ‘Praise is meant to be a reflection of Christendom in Britain but what's the score? Why come no normal common or garden freak's are on it. We should be! You and Me. Giving it large with the dodgy brass band and belting them out like there's no tomorrow (and who knows better that there could be no tomorrow than us?). Praising our Jesus like he's going out of fashion. Praising him because He, like us, was never in fashion to begin with.

The old people in my church have NEVER been ashamed to be seen with me. No crotch-ripped breeks or ring adorned nipples have even brought so much as a flush to their faces. So why should I be afraid to be seen in public with them? Why do I hide from it? Is it because I'm afraid that the people who disapprove anyhow might continue? Stuff that!

So this is a call… a call to the freaks… a call to the underdogs… to the punx, goths, moshers, skaters, vampires, and indiekids… to the pierced, the tattooed and the dyed… a call for all you waifs and strays of Jesus: I want you on the telly!

I want to see mohawks in the pews, dreadlocks in the baptistery, and goths in their rightful place - the crypts! When songs of praise comes to a town near you grab your mates and go. Sit down the front! Lift those hands and show the world not only that you love Jesus, but that your chuffed to smithereens that he loves freaks! Don't be shy 'cos if nothing else it'll be fun!

This is the great Songs Of Praise Swindle!

Fair doos, it contains no actual extortion but I recon it spits the very essence of punk. It's a mass incursion into the belly of banality and just like ye olde Sex Pistols we could steal the mundane straight out from under their noses (and have a proper giggle along the way). Yes folks, if you haven't caught on by now, I'm actually serious about this. Why? Cos I'm sick of people not believing I'm a genuine, bonafide, good old fashioned Jesus-Creeper because I don't look like an audience member from 'Trisha', that's why.

So is anyone with me? Does any soul still smoulder with the spark of rebellion (Holy Spirit), or are we content to be middle of the road, just like the rest? Mone then:

TODAY - SONGS OF PRAISE
TOMMOROW - THE WORLD!

ekklesia...

2006-01-14T16:30:00.000Z

A people-eco-system...

Frankenstein like, knitted together from the best in its contributers. Sharing skills, talents, contacts, knowledge and (most importantly) each other.

Brain sharing...

From both cranial hemispheres - the creative and the logical! Mutual support and inspiration, sharing labour and its fruits. Crossing over boundries of style and medium. A combined superbrain, composed of several cerebelums!

A DIY ethic...

V important! Keeping it local. Working with what you have, like a garden shed lab. Sharing and experimenting. There is no such thing as lack - only invention. Keeping yer feet on the ground, sleeves rolled and up tae yer eyes in it!

Personality...

A unique character of its own complete with quirks, foibles, fngerprints and relationships (both micro and macro). A voice of its own.

So am I talking about church or my local scene? Which one of these bad-boys do yer think pulls it off? Whose inhabitants care more about their environment? What can each learn from the other? What about your wee microcosm?

Answers on a postcard please...

Sci-Fi Pilgrim (beam me up, Gody)...

2006-01-08T02:25:00.000Z

Transport me Father!

Let my flesh melt away
and my poluted protons
transmute into energy
transfused with Him
Discombobulate my bones
and reform my resurected self
on the surface of the promised land
(co-ordinates assured)

Tartan Theology As Anything!...

2006-01-02T14:10:00.000Z

Prophet

Poet

Dreamer

All round Christ-o-phile

Thee Wee Pict has moved! Batter over and check him out, especially here -

http://weebeautifulpict.typepad.com/my_weblog/2005/12/what_is_this_ta.html

Its long but worth the effort my sloth-goggled chums.

Aye - and happy new year n that as well :)

Im tired...

2005-12-30T01:11:00.000Z

Only God and caffiene are keeping me upright.

Things that go bump in the night...

2005-12-27T22:16:00.000Z

In a moment you will realise why it is obligatory that I begin this entry with the phrase "everyone is alive and unhurt"...

Boxing day ended with a chilled out gathering of the clans in rural Harburn, where there doth reside a small shed known only as 'the hall'. Of an occasion we, that is to say the musical fringe of west-lothian do, take residence there and engage ourselves in the making of music and partaking in revelry.

So as the evening drew to a close I was happy to be offered a lift home by Nicol, bass player in the wonderfull beat-combo 'Bo Deadly'. Also present where Bruce of sonic tyrants The Stepdads and Simon, a lovely young chap who sported four strings for the Silver Pebles.

However, not 5 minutes into our journey we found ourselves skidding on some black ice, and with barely enough time to swear (although someone managed to let one of the more popular oaths fly at several decibels), we hit a small tree and promtly turned it into matchwood.

I feel so embarrased about the next bit though. As the car turned over (yes, it was a proper car crash), I remember praying out loud "Father, please take care of us, in Jesus name", and instantly apologising to the others for doing so. The reply from Bruce was most cordial: "Dont worry Doogs, if there was ever a time this is it".

As a worrying smell, interpreted by our adrenalised imaginations as burning, sparked memory reruns of A-Team style auto carnage we awkwardly made our escape through the back seat.

And that was that. I am extremely chuffed that both my companions and I are alive and unhurt. Any of you bunch that are praying types, please fire a few up for Nicol. He has all the insurance crap to deal with and got a bit more of a fright than the rest of us. Cheers.

In the meantime - Mone the life!

Christmas as anything...

2005-12-25T10:13:00.000Z

So merry Christmas then :)

Went to the usual service last night at St Cuthberts in Edinburgh. Its a big city centre church, full of all manner of waifs or strays (which of these categories do you fit into?). There are families, the lonely, geographical tourists, spiritual tourists (both types are far from home) and our wee collection of vagabonds.

Christmas aint Christmas untill you go to church with homeless people.

Of course, when one of those homeless people happens to be an italian drag queen who sings Handels 'Halelujah Chorus' in full operatic stylee, things tend to be a bit more interesting than your average family service.

My Christmas gift to you its a link to livy prog-punters Nine Miles High's myspace - www.myspace.com/9mileshigh. I particularly recomend 'Ya Bass' and 'Quadraspazzed'. They broke up last month and I'm genuinley gutted. The last gig was mental - complete with ceiling humping crowd surfers et-all.

I was caught in a small message board discussion at www.livims.co.uk and their guitarist Nico came out with one of the best theological nuggets of the year. Ponder it as you wonder at their big-assed guitar tone:

"Nobody fucks with Jesus".

Amen.

Have a good one wherever you are folks - Shalom.

I wrote WHAT?

2005-12-22T10:07:00.002Z

Bloggers... Do you ever look at your most recent post and realise that you just dont want it to represent you?

*sigh*

Sometimes you just have to wake up to the idea that your spraffing like a twit, eh? I think I still have sleep in my eyes :)

Metro-mas (not so merry)...

2005-12-16T16:05:00.000Z

Id like you to take moment out of your busy pre-holiday schedule to join me in a moment of incredulity. It goes a little something like this:

The set up -
Within the pages of popular commuter rag 'Metro', there's a stream of people complaining that Chrismas is not what it used to be. They wonder what happened to the good old days, (most have a 'before it got commercial' comment around this point) and lament over the empty ritual it has become. Zero beef so far.

The point -
However, when said rhetoric comes from people who refuse to celebrate Christ (which is, after all, the majority of the uk), I just cant understand it. Why not just say:

"I love nothingness! I have done since I was a kid. Its crap how that empty thing we used to do that meant nothing still means nothing, though. It should go back to meaning nothing again!".

If its that meaningless - dont bother.

The incredulity -
*please insert your incredulity here - you may wish to accompany it with a contorted facial expression of disbelief, a gasp of exlamation, or both*

The reassurance -
Let me assure you that the Doogs is not a humbug merchant, though. I love how Christmas is open to all. I just dont think its fair for folk to burden themselves when they dont even get the good of it. YOU HAVE A CHOICE PEOPLE! THATS THE WHOLE POINT!

Thank you for joining me. You may return to the rest of your nothing/Christmas (delete as appropriate) now.

On Zombies...

2005-12-11T15:25:00.000Z

So whats the deal with the whole apprentice zombie malarkey, I hear you ask?

Zombies are great creatures if you ask me. They do have a slightly bad rep, what with all the brain eating and mayhem - this I must concede. The bible, however, teaches that God looks deeper than the flesh. Zombies mean more to me than 120 minute shots of splatter cinema.

Myth; there is life before death - The greatest tragedy of all the ages is that the dead actually believe they live! Caught in the proto-hell of consumerism, pseudo spirtuality, nihlism and countless other cruel expressions of ongoing self-immolation, they wander aimlessly. Their god is their stomach, their glory is in their shame.
Zombies are the waking dead - those who have shared in the death, burial and ressurection of Christ have been revived from the state of true death. We walk this earth as an affront to the so-called 'natural' order (this sin swelled, cursed creation, falling ever further from its Fathers grace).
Zombies are dead to the world - The living dead have no interest in the things of their pre-dead counterparts (the REAL dead - see #1). Although our corpse may rot, our spirit is truly alive. We feast on the flesh and blood of the Living One - He who holds the keys to death - Christ the King.
Zombies decay - As soon as I was born (again), I began to die. In our case, death is a progressive condition as we learn to let go of this world and embrace our end. Our flesh, with all its greed and selfish lusts, diminishes daily as we shuffle from this mortal coil.

So there we go - a zombie theology 101. We are left with this daily choice: will we get busy living, or get busy dying?

Is there a Dr. Freud in the house?

2005-12-06T18:10:00.000Z

I was reading the paper today to see an indignant Sadam Hussein remonstrating and making wild claims and unreasonable demands. A bearded old tyrant who has been debased of all his former glories (just like another king of babylon), he reminded me of a de-cartooned Bluto, Popeye's fabled arch nemesis.

Anyway... he looks almost exactly like my dad.

Time to find a good therapist thinks I.

Recordation radiations....

2005-11-29T19:46:00.000Z

Spent the day in a nifty wee studio in Motherwell recording drums fer ma bands album today. I feel so rock and roll!

However, it turns out that rock and roll is a bizzre and complex feeling. Theres the inspirational 'I-cant-believe-that-I-can-actually-do-this!' euphoria type thing, but today its tinged with an 'actually-this-sucks-sometimes' thing as well (this downer is, of course, an apparent essential part of the rock and roll experience...its just NME and Kerrang make it sound much more cool - be on your guard for false prophets kiddies!).

So why the 12 bar blues?

Today was the last time our drummer, and friend, worked with us. Davey has now officially made the transition to ex-drummer.

It really hasnt been working out for a while, and although the preassure of trying tae force it to work is off, its still a bit crap to have sacked a mate.

So really all I want to say is that this; I luv y' Davey - God bless yer, guv :)

The rest of yer can avoid this slush by checking out http://reeltimemusic.net for a super cheap as anything studio.

Caution to the wind...

2005-11-25T21:39:00.000Z

How many blogs do you read with entries that regularly begin with a decleration of how busy yon blogger has been of late? Im afraid this is my first - I feel so dirty!

So the Dougle has been trying out some new stuff recently. Dreaming dreams in public (check out the Wee Pict fer the bigger picture)... talking and drawing in a Rolf Harris stylee for cool scary fantastic sweary kids... Undoing musical ties and closing chapters in the annals of Rock (subsection - Mysterons; the story continues)... bagpipe punk at 1am with God (not the first but definately fun)... losing large chunks of my life to the phone... wondering about zombies... going places and not working out how to get back... seeing into the nooks and crannies of others peoples hopes... seeing the hopes of others realised (astonishing - look hard and find it in a hope near you!)... experiencing my yearly remeberance of what true wonder feels like (its a snowy morning - yon hippy rears his head)... witnessing new seasons of an altogether different type... offending touring emo punx... and other assorted adventures.

Aye man - could get used tae this, likes. Turns out risk can be ok. All this is yours God... make it work somehow.

Wyrd Hell-oween/When in Rome....

2005-11-04T20:37:00.000Z

Strange happenstances taking place in the Underworld as All Hallowed Eve became All Saints again for 3 brief minutes of pop-gospel peculiarity.

100 feet from possibly one of the biggest pagan gatherings in Britian, the sweaty occupants of a busy mosh pit held each other and roared out Amazing Grace before reverting to the other type of crazed revelry steadily unfolding beforehand.

God turns up in strange places.

Next day I did away with myself to Nunraw Abbey in Haddington to chill with monks for 2 nights. Im not a Catholic - undercover baptist action ;) - so it was new territory. Right outside the comfort zone!

But aye man - mone the monks! Mone the quiet! I did nothing for nearly 48 hours, and couldnt find enough hours of the day to fit it in. Just hanging out with all the sick, the recovering, the feeble, the oddballs, the monk-a-doodle-dandies, 1 punk and God in this wee non-exclusive macro community.

Spent the afternoon talking to Bother Stephen who will be 86 next week. He's done 53 years of God-porridge, and is officially the coolest guy I have met this year.

Canny wait to go back.

2005-10-19T22:02:00.000Z

"Your not hardcore..... unless you live hardcore!...." thus sayeth the Shneebly

You know - I think he has something there!
Amen brother....... testify! :)

25CNS - Punk Rock Benedictines?

2005-10-14T23:07:00.000Z

Two things intertwined this eveing in a most agreeable manner. First, I purchased a copy of 'The Rule Of St. Benedict', and began reading it. It basicaly 'monk life for dummies' and is very good. One of its big themes is not grumbling.

Ouch! Sair yin! I dinny like being called out on that one.

The second thing was that I went to see 25 Cats Named Sam play @ Edinburghs Bannermans Bar. T'was good to see them, especialy since it was their penultimate gig. In the couple of years they have been together they really have made some great music. Intense, angry, springy, jarring noise. However, Edinburgh can be a cliquey city and because they dont know the right people and hang about at the right places and all that they are virtually ignored. I urge you to visit their purevolume site (http://www.purevolume.com/25catsnamedsam) and realise why this is an injustice.

However, as they shook their colective feline thang this evening, it struck me that I have never heard them complain.

Grumbligs crap. Im going to try to stop it. Here endeth my lesson.

So this is it.....

2005-10-08T19:59:00.000Z

So after ages and ages of being gently 'encouraged' by various punters I am now part of the growing community on-line hacks. Will this become just another egocentric naval gaze, or could these following records/ravings be usefull to anyone other than me?

All I know is that Im 29, have a liking for monasticism and punk rock, and think to waaaaaaaaaay much about myself as it is. Oh, and lets not forget that I'll be dead one day.

So lets get on with dying shall we?