Friday, December 30, 2005

Im tired...

Only God and caffiene are keeping me upright.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Things that go bump in the night...

In a moment you will realise why it is obligatory that I begin this entry with the phrase "everyone is alive and unhurt"...

Boxing day ended with a chilled out gathering of the clans in rural Harburn, where there doth reside a small shed known only as 'the hall'. Of an occasion we, that is to say the musical fringe of west-lothian do, take residence there and engage ourselves in the making of music and partaking in revelry.

So as the evening drew to a close I was happy to be offered a lift home by Nicol, bass player in the wonderfull beat-combo 'Bo Deadly'. Also present where Bruce of sonic tyrants The Stepdads and Simon, a lovely young chap who sported four strings for the Silver Pebles.

However, not 5 minutes into our journey we found ourselves skidding on some black ice, and with barely enough time to swear (although someone managed to let one of the more popular oaths fly at several decibels), we hit a small tree and promtly turned it into matchwood.

I feel so embarrased about the next bit though. As the car turned over (yes, it was a proper car crash), I remember praying out loud "Father, please take care of us, in Jesus name", and instantly apologising to the others for doing so. The reply from Bruce was most cordial: "Dont worry Doogs, if there was ever a time this is it".

As a worrying smell, interpreted by our adrenalised imaginations as burning, sparked memory reruns of A-Team style auto carnage we awkwardly made our escape through the back seat.

And that was that. I am extremely chuffed that both my companions and I are alive and unhurt. Any of you bunch that are praying types, please fire a few up for Nicol. He has all the insurance crap to deal with and got a bit more of a fright than the rest of us. Cheers.

In the meantime - Mone the life!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas as anything...

So merry Christmas then :)

Went to the usual service last night at St Cuthberts in Edinburgh. Its a big city centre church, full of all manner of waifs or strays (which of these categories do you fit into?). There are families, the lonely, geographical tourists, spiritual tourists (both types are far from home) and our wee collection of vagabonds.

Christmas aint Christmas untill you go to church with homeless people.

Of course, when one of those homeless people happens to be an italian drag queen who sings Handels 'Halelujah Chorus' in full operatic stylee, things tend to be a bit more interesting than your average family service.

My Christmas gift to you its a link to livy prog-punters Nine Miles High's myspace - I particularly recomend 'Ya Bass' and 'Quadraspazzed'. They broke up last month and I'm genuinley gutted. The last gig was mental - complete with ceiling humping crowd surfers et-all.

I was caught in a small message board discussion at and their guitarist Nico came out with one of the best theological nuggets of the year. Ponder it as you wonder at their big-assed guitar tone:

"Nobody fucks with Jesus".


Have a good one wherever you are folks - Shalom.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I wrote WHAT?

Bloggers... Do you ever look at your most recent post and realise that you just dont want it to represent you?


Sometimes you just have to wake up to the idea that your spraffing like a twit, eh? I think I still have sleep in my eyes :)

Friday, December 16, 2005

Metro-mas (not so merry)...

Id like you to take moment out of your busy pre-holiday schedule to join me in a moment of incredulity. It goes a little something like this:

The set up -
Within the pages of popular commuter rag 'Metro', there's a stream of people complaining that Chrismas is not what it used to be. They wonder what happened to the good old days, (most have a 'before it got commercial' comment around this point) and lament over the empty ritual it has become. Zero beef so far.

The point -
However, when said rhetoric comes from people who refuse to celebrate Christ (which is, after all, the majority of the uk), I just cant understand it. Why not just say:

"I love nothingness! I have done since I was a kid. Its crap how that empty thing we used to do that meant nothing still means nothing, though. It should go back to meaning nothing again!".

If its that meaningless - dont bother.

The incredulity -
*please insert your incredulity here - you may wish to accompany it with a contorted facial expression of disbelief, a gasp of exlamation, or both*

The reassurance -
Let me assure you that the Doogs is not a humbug merchant, though. I love how Christmas is open to all. I just dont think its fair for folk to burden themselves when they dont even get the good of it. YOU HAVE A CHOICE PEOPLE! THATS THE WHOLE POINT!

Thank you for joining me. You may return to the rest of your nothing/Christmas (delete as appropriate) now.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

On Zombies...

So whats the deal with the whole apprentice zombie malarkey, I hear you ask?

Zombies are great creatures if you ask me. They do have a slightly bad rep, what with all the brain eating and mayhem - this I must concede. The bible, however, teaches that God looks deeper than the flesh. Zombies mean more to me than 120 minute shots of splatter cinema.
  1. Myth; there is life before death - The greatest tragedy of all the ages is that the dead actually believe they live! Caught in the proto-hell of consumerism, pseudo spirtuality, nihlism and countless other cruel expressions of ongoing self-immolation, they wander aimlessly. Their god is their stomach, their glory is in their shame.
  2. Zombies are the waking dead - those who have shared in the death, burial and ressurection of Christ have been revived from the state of true death. We walk this earth as an affront to the so-called 'natural' order (this sin swelled, cursed creation, falling ever further from its Fathers grace).
  3. Zombies are dead to the world - The living dead have no interest in the things of their pre-dead counterparts (the REAL dead - see #1). Although our corpse may rot, our spirit is truly alive. We feast on the flesh and blood of the Living One - He who holds the keys to death - Christ the King.
  4. Zombies decay - As soon as I was born (again), I began to die. In our case, death is a progressive condition as we learn to let go of this world and embrace our end. Our flesh, with all its greed and selfish lusts, diminishes daily as we shuffle from this mortal coil.

So there we go - a zombie theology 101. We are left with this daily choice: will we get busy living, or get busy dying?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Is there a Dr. Freud in the house?

I was reading the paper today to see an indignant Sadam Hussein remonstrating and making wild claims and unreasonable demands. A bearded old tyrant who has been debased of all his former glories (just like another king of babylon), he reminded me of a de-cartooned Bluto, Popeye's fabled arch nemesis.

Anyway... he looks almost exactly like my dad.

Time to find a good therapist thinks I.