Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Well come on everybody, lets move-it-and-a-groove it...

Im so unbeleivably chuffed - this weekend I managed to see four seperate gigs in three days, totalling something in the area of 22 bands. I am now officially guilty of music gluttony.

'They Stood Out' awards should be duly doled out to Bo Deadly, Jackie Treehorn, Massacre On The Fjords, Peepshow (minus the porn lyrics), Secta Rouge, Shitball and the Poisoning - all massive high points in ma weekend.

Oftentimes the best thing you can do at a gig is just hang back and watch the crowd (Oscar Wilde said something like - I hope you have enjoyed the show half as much as you have enjoyed each other). Heres a few phenomena you should watch for next time you're out at a show...

1 - The invariably steaming mate/family member loyaly going mental front and centre on their own as their mate/family members band goes through the motions on stage. Whereupon love has blinded the partaker as to whether the band is actually any good or not and (by means of loyal, determined and sustained example) they resolve to entice the crowd to rock out with maximum effect. The crowd invarialby regards said athletic individual with a mix of confusion and fear.
2 - The tactical mosh. Whereupon the next band due on go absolutely nuts and freak out like whirling dervishes during the last song of the band that immediately precede their own show. The aim is twofold... they hope, much like the poor individual in figure '1', that they may tempt the crowd to a frenzied state in time for their arrival on stage (never thinking that the 25 minutes they take to set up will afford ample opportunity for the crowd to dissapate - they where only there to see thir own mates band anyway). Also, they hope that the first band (and possibly all their mates), will reciprocate. This unspoken collusion, or 'pity mosh' as I have named the phenomena, is often seen at gigs where noone has brought any mates and the bands paly to each other.
3 - Partisan crowd tourism. Whereupon those attending the event watch only one band and spend the rest of the show shamlesly ligging or simply leave straight away. This shames the band they saw and is frankly stupid. Almost exclusively perpitrated by people who dont actually like music and only came out to silence the constant reminders that 'uv got tickets oan me if y' want wan the noo!'.
4 - The dummy fight (commonly referred to as the 'Livi swim-pit'). Where upon several audience members (for reasons a varied as boredom, an offensive band or just for a giggle), group together and madly wrestle like greased hillbilly's untill theres naught but a pile of bodies like the worst playground pile up you've ever seen or imagined.
5 - The vastly innapropriate mosher. Whereupon someone with very little clue wellies in and just starts hitting people. Much like figure '4' but with more nosebleeds and less fun. The partaker generally thinks he is 'puer mental, ken?', and spends all his time trying to maintain eye contact with the mates he's trying to impress. Often only one alcopop away from total colapse anyway, their exhuberent bluster usually blows itself out within half a song and they spent the rest of the night on the street looking for the oppertunity to hospitalise a random passer by having been dragged out by their mates.
6 - The punter spotter. Whereupon you spend as much time watching the punters as you do the band. Happy spotting :)

Sunday, May 21, 2006


Spent a while caffin' and spraffing wi some fellow Jesus jabbers this week. Ma wee mind ends up blown by God - as usual.

I realise that more than ever I need to disconnect and depend less on human life-support mechanisms, those habits of old. Mechanisms like pride (only I can do it!), laziness (someone else do it!) and fear (I cant do it!). Mankind relied on these non-God sources of supplement back in Eden and ended up perverted. We God-grown organic creatures transformed into mechanistic sin-cyborgs, unthinking automatons set to self-destruct in the ritual pursuit of self-preservation.

The blood of Jesus has seeped into my workings... broken my coding... making me free to de-evolve (any geneticist will tell you most mutations prove fatal anyway), and become all human once more. But the things of God are hard - loving, becoming vulnerable and pursuing God is hard. The robotic urge to switch off and feel no more appeals to the idea of being strong and invulnerable (a true Scots trait?), but will leave us like rusting tin cans at the end of time.

Ma wee egocentric corner of creation needs to change... needs to be open to change. Wow – sustaining that kind of attitude seems to be an insurmountable task. I worry if future people writing about what God did in Edinburgh at the start of the century (what? Aaargh - more narcissism!), will lament it having become a monolithic android factory like so many other movements before it. But worry is part of the life support apparatus (back to here already?!).

Lord Jesus… its me again… I think I need more grace.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Lurch gets it right...

"Meetings are a crime against the true meaning of the church" - On yersel big yin!

Check oot the whole beel at his blog - its listed under the 'blogarooney' section of ma links.

Vote: Massacre on the Fjords!

Hey hey hey folks :)

Livi's resident progressive melodic death metal punters Massacre On The Fjords have entered a competition to get a show at the warm up for Ragnarock Metal Fetival up in Perth. Its a really big deal, so if you feel so inclined why not pop over to vote for them. You need to register with the forum first, but dont let that put you off :) Look - I'll even put a link for that n as well :)

If yer the fikey type and want to hear wot they sound like first you should go to After an early lead they're trailing behind by about 50 votes, so Godspeed your digital ballot through the binary ether...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

MaFt - the Visible Man...

Check it oot folks... MaFt has been getting weirdo JC lovers a higher profile down in Bradford, challenging stereotypes (the Manchester posse struggled loads with this), and generally getting out and about:

MaFt's (Almost) Daily Blog: Times Have Changed

He's also starting a punk worship night this Saturday which sounds like it could just be the best thing est sliced bread.

Yas! On yersel!

I like short songs...

Today is the day that Boot To Head Records finally took delivery of the Voice Of The Mysterons album!

God willing, "They Heve Pulled Down Deep Heaven On Their Heads or Come Hell Or High Voltage; electromagnetic rapture-rock for Abbadons lost lads and lasses" will be mastered and ready for release this summer.

9 months in the making (so far). I canny believe it - what are we, Pink Floyd or something? Well not really when you consider 16 songs are puckered down intae 23 and a 1/2 minutes of frenzied punk rock experimentia, averaging at an easy going 83 seconds per song.

Ok... so I'll concede a little pride at this, but its nothing when you compare it to the first album by a great american punk band called Poison Idea. 14 songs on a 7 inch peice of vynl (played at the regular 45rpm if that means anything to you).

Friday, May 05, 2006

Livms radio (and then some)...

The latest instalment of ma radio show is available over at - just click the wee bit at the top left of the front page to get yer paws on it. Also available for streaming/download are most of the other ones we've done so far.

Its started a bit of a bit of a beel on the livims message board. Folk started wondering why local music wasnt on the local commercial radio station. Cynical me said it was a total no go area, but younk Trixter (the David-spirited guitarist fae Covert Camel), was having nane ae it and convinced a bunch of us tae brass it. A small deluge of emails tae yon station (the Goliath of this tale) asked "Haw! Whits the score?" The next thing we know is yon local DJ blokey popped up on the thread and bobs yer uncle - River FM invited livi bands tae get involved!

Ok, so they only want the most poppy bands and stuff and aye, it might well be nothing more than a PR excercise but for now a bunch of fretboard freaks, drumbums and the otherwise introverted feel like someone gives a crap. Thats got to be as good as any stane in the bonce.

Viva livi music!


I can now report that along with a billion other bloggers I have booked ma first driving lesson. You can now join with a billion respondees in fearing for the safety of others.

I now feel this is now somehow a proper blog, validated by the inclusion of such stangely average turning point in life. Its something that hundereds of others will also embark upon this week (I wonder if theyre all crapping it like Dougle?). In one way really average - in another a bit of a big deal (I equate driving with being a proper grown up so its a big deal to me at least).

Theres so many of these strangely shared corner points. We almost all have some of these experiences but participate in them seperately. Leaving school, marriage, starting new jobs - you know the deal. In one stroke they unite and simultaneously seperate us. On the face they've always seemed naught but vaguely confusing, distant social medium to me. But now Im actually partaking the whole deal starts becoming a bit more quirqsome... interesting... unique.

Scary biscuits - I think everyday life might not be as boring as I suspected after all.

*note to self* Even scarier biscuits - dinny get sucked in too far Doogs...

An alternative Edinburgh Festival?

Well folks... Ive gone and fallen in with a shady crowd and no mistake! The plucky souls at Edinburghs rather fabby looking EdRush multi arts festival now count one D. McMysteron among their numbers! Punk rock is now officially highbrow!

The idea is to cram the Reekie with as much indigenous talent as possible for a week in late may. Great idea if you ask me! Check em out at

So now Im putting on a few (2) gigs for it, including the return to the stage of me own humble sci-punk buckaneers Voice Of The Mysterons after 10 (!?) months in the lab. As the sagely and erudite Barry Penguin doth exlaim: "GIT DOON THAR!". Heres the gos...

An evening of experi-mental musicality heralding the oncoming prog apocalypse
@ NEKTAR (Edinburgh) - Wednesday May 24th in the year of our Lord 2006 - 8pm - FREE!!!!


Genre hopping Mike Patton acolytes widdle like the Ozric Tentacles - all held together with hefty slabs of angular metalic riffage...

Two blokes with guitar and drums show the likes of the White Stripes up as the wanton redneck hillbillies they really are. More chops and changes than a south american goverment.

Edinburgh's own crazed 7 peice experimental surf all-stars. Likened to Dick Dale doing Disney with guns and psychotropics. presents...
I WAS A TEENAGE B-MOVIE - a night of monstrosity and song
@ Cannonsgait Bar - Edinburgh - May 27th - 8pm - £4


The Poisoning (Formerly Die Kuntz)
Evil, putrifying Glasgow gore-punk - how much more black could they be? The answer is none. They could be none more black.

Local legends now down to a 3 peice, fresh from playing Shotts prison and tighter than an inmates roll-up. Likened to Johny Cash on Crack.

Enduring broxburn hillbilly swing-o-matic punk-a-doodle-dandies get even rowdier for their imminent second album.

Voice Of The Mysterons
Pan-atlantic gopel fueled alt.punk experimentia from beyond the grave - back with fresh material!